The Beginning.

Here's me.  Melissa.

I have some pretty great qualities.  I'm good with kids, I have a good sense of humor, I love to help others, I can sing and act, I have really pretty eyes, I'm sweet, supportive, caring, and... humble.  I am also very overweight.  Big time. 

I've been a big girl pretty much my whole life.  I was chubby all throughout my childhood and preteen years.  I thinned out a little in middle-school when I shot up and grew some curves.  But when I stopped increasing in height, the curves decided to keep on  growing.  I became obese when I was in high-school.  Several years later at a massive 323 lbs I am classified as morbidly obese.

Sure, when I'm looking in the mirror at the big bulging roll of fat around my belly, the double-chin, the chubby fingers, the stretch lines, the thunder-thighs, I don't like what I see.  The fact that I can't see my feet while I'm walking down stairs is unnerving.  It can be difficult to find clothes that fit well and look good.  I love playing with kids, but it's hard to find fun games that don't require me to get off my butt. It's embarrassing running out of breath from walking up a single flight of stairs. In theatre, there aren't very many roles for women my size.  And as a whole, the more I weigh, the less I am able to do the things I want.  And then there are the many health risks of being morbidly obese.  In light of all these things, why is it so hard for me to lose weight?


It all boils down to this: I love food and I hate exercise.


When I'm looking at a plate of brownies, am I thinking about my thunder thighs?  Nope... There IS a split second of thought before I begin devouring; I'm thinking about how good those brownies smell and how chewy and delicious they will be. Then the split-second ends, the brain switches off, and I go into "devour" mode.  When I think about exercising, do I find myself thinking about strengthening my heart, gaining endurance, and building a stronger calorie-fighting machine?  Nope... I'm thinking about getting breathless, sweaty, uncomfortable, sore, and inevitably embarrassing myself.  Somehow watching the next episode on hulu sounds much more appealing.


But, in the end I am forced look myself in the mirror again and am reminded that I don't want to stay obese forever.  I've tried to lose weight before, but it's hard to find motivation strong enough to carry me through the many temptations to sit on my butt and engorge myself.  So, for the last few weeks I have been pondering what would motivate me to get fit and stay fit.  Then, as I was sitting with a friend in Applebees, munching on a cowboy burger and seasoned fries, it came to me.


Here's my sister, Hannah.

Gorgeous, talented, artistic, funny, stylish, versatile.  And she's an amazing singer, song-writer, and pianist.  She plays viola and guitar, too!  In my opinion, she has IT.  Star quality.  And yet, she doesn't know what she wants to do with her life.  I've asked her before if she would ever consider auditioning for American Idol, but she's not sure about the idea.  Here's what I think about it: if she doesn't win, fine, but I think she has a good chance of getting pretty far and the process could open up her eyes to whether or not she should use her talents in a music career. I think it's quite possible that she will find that God is leading her to pursue music.  So, this is what occurred to me... I want to lose weight and I want her to audition, so if I can tie those two things together, and convince Hannah to agree, maybe it will be enough motivation to accomplish both!


So, I did a little bit of research on healthy weight-loss goals and came up with a proposal that Hannah AGREED to!!  Here it is...
My ultimate weight loss goal is to get below 200lbs.  Whew.  I think I was in 9th grade when I passed that mark and haven't been anywhere near it since.  If I can manage to get below 200 lbs by September of 2012, Hannah will audition for American Idol.


According to my research, it should take about 6 months or so for an individual to safely lose 10% of their body weight.  Losing weight slowly in this manner is supposed to help the person keep it off.  I currently weigh 323 lbs.  So, with healthy lifestyle changes I can safely lose about 10% of that (or 32 lbs) by September 1.  By then, I should weigh 291 lbs.  Then, I'll take 10% of that (29 lbs) and aim to lose that by March 1 of 2011 which will bring me to 262 lbs.  If I continue to set 10% as my goal for every 6 months, by September 1 of 2012 I will have lost 132 lbs (41% of my current body weight) and will be at 191 lbs!


Is this an attainable goal?   I read that most people can lose about 1 or 2 lbs a week with healthy lifestyle changes. So, setting goals in increments of 10% is a good, because it means that at most (based on my current weight) I only have to lose about 1.2 lbs a week.  I also like the idea of looking at my weight loss in percentages, because it isn't as daunting as thinking about losing 132 lbs.  There are lots of small successes that I can look forward to.  Every  1, 5 or 10% is a victory!


It's been a while since I've tried to lose weight, and even longer since I actually succeeded, so I'm going to have to do some research and get some knowledgeable opinions.  I do have some basic knowledge about how to lose weight.  There are a million weight loss programs out there, but it all pretty much boils down to eating less, eating healthier, and exercising.  To be honest, none of those three things are very appealing to me.  The one that I can tolerate most is eating healthier, so until I can find a good method to follow, that's where I'm going to start.  Fewer "junk" calories and more earth-grown entrees.  Pass me the peas!