Going to the gym

My brother-in-law just left for three months of training to be an army chaplain.  I'm very proud of him, but we miss him already.  Before he left he encouraged me to keep up my efforts to become healthier.  He transfered his gym membership over to me and told me he will keep paying the monthly fee if I go!  He's so generous!

I've never had a gym membership before.  In fact, at university there is a gym on campus that students can use for free.  I went only a few times.  A few years ago I went and sat outside of the gym for fifteen minutes before chickening out and leaving.  The atmosphere is very intimidating to me.  All of the equipment I don't know what to do with and all of the mirrors... ugh.  My brain knows that people are not there to judge me, but I can't get my emotions to believe it.  The few times that I have gone to the gym successfully I had to keep telling myself over and over that people weren't there to watch me or judge me.  That's very emotionally tiring.

I am determined to put that behind me.  They say that the more often you do something that is difficult, the easier it becomes.

This morning I met with a personal trainer at the gym; new members get a free consultation.  I am thinking about setting up weekly appointments with a personal trainer to become more familiar with the equipment and learn how to use it properly.)  The personal trainer briefly ran me through some exercises I can do at the gym.  He talked to me about the importance of setting specific goals.  He had asked me what my goals are and I told him I want to lose weight but I don't have any specific goals.  He said that a lot of people don't set specific goals because they are afraid of letting themselves down, but in the end they are unable to accomplish anything.  He compared this to setting a goal to graduate college but not setting a goal to study for your tests or even to pass your classes.  If you don't set specific goals you are a lot less likely to accomplish anything.

So... for the next three months I am setting a goal of going to the gym three times a week.
I am also setting a goal to forgive myself for failures.  In fact, I am going to choose to not think of them as failures but as learning experiences.